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Seven hundred and fifty words on that Somerville fic*, and now I'm horribly depressed. Not in the clinical sense, merely in the way that one might feel if a great hand had pushed one's face into the ground for a long time. Pressed. Flattened. Saddened, even.

Oh, I want to write fancies. I want to be like L M Montgomery and revel like she did in the gorgeousness of her surroundings; I've lived and breathed in picturesque scenes enough. I want to write whimsies and delight and I want to pass that to others. Delight - that's the word. I want to make beautiful things and live among them.

"Yes; but if dryads are foolish they must take the consequences, just as if they were real people," said Paul gravely. "Do you know what I think about the new moon, teacher? I think it is a little golden boat full of dreams."

"And when it tips on a cloud some of them spill out and fall into your sleep."

"Exactly, teacher. Oh, you do know. And I think the violets are little snips of the sky that fell down when the angels cut out holes for the stars to shine through. And the buttercups are made out of old sunshine; and I think the sweet peas will be butterflies when they go to heaven."

What comes out in original fiction is dystopian, fear-filled stories. What comes out is long stories about forgiveness and sadness and inevitability of fate, and human contact and interaction. Human! The glamour of the doomed. Ick.

It's not even that I had an excuse. I had a happier, sheltered childhood than anyone might have deserved, other than the part about my eyes, I suppose. But all my fancies were of adventures and epic fantasy and it's not put me in good stead.

At any rate, I'm going to work on the Phanuel/Rogier fic instead. Because that one is at least going to have a happy resolution. Mrfjgh. Tomorrow will be sunshiny and I will feel better.

*Percy Somerville, a character in the Kushiel series, is [spoilers for Chosen]executed for treason after being imprisoned over the winter. His son abjures him and takes his wife's family as his house. The doomed factor is really quite dispiriting.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 20th, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC)
Gah, I know! Not only am I earnest, I am painfully earnest. It's terrible! Terrible.

I like delights! I want to write delights! Dear my brain, can we not come to an agreement?!
Aug. 20th, 2012 04:50 am (UTC)
askfdjlajsdlkjf PAUL. And ANNE. alsjdlfjalsjsdlajsdklfj

you make me want to re-read those books with those 3 paragraphs, silver. whyyyyyyyyy.
Aug. 20th, 2012 02:31 pm (UTC)
I've begun acquiring them in ebook form just so that they're there whenever I want to read them. Which might be...quite often >.>
Aug. 20th, 2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
haha, I found them on google books a while ago for free. I'll have to re-read them. My hard copies are across the pacific ocean. :(
Aug. 20th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
*nodnods* I got mine from Gutenberg, mostly. Including one from the Canadian site because the copyright laws are different than the States'.

:( Thank god for ebooks, eh?
Aug. 20th, 2012 09:16 am (UTC)
Look - well... I tell you what. YOU write me a whimsy like that glory you quoted... anything daft and fee and sparkly and headoverhandstands strange thoughtwords. And I will do one for you! Just lift the tiny hiding leaves of your mind, and peek. they are there!!! I find them under mushrooms... those fragile ones that grow in circles in wet grasses, dancing..dancing...

SEE!!! Just for me, PLEASE???

Edited to add. PWP?: and only about erm. a coupla paras. just a whimsy!!!

Edited at 2012-08-20 09:17 am (UTC)
Aug. 20th, 2012 07:15 pm (UTC)
I don't think I have the mettle for PWP yet :P Give me a couple years, hee.

I will! I take up your challenge! I will go to the library and write!
Aug. 20th, 2012 04:35 pm (UTC)
I love the Anne books so much, and they were so fundamental for me in many ways, but even L. M. Montgomery couldn't hold onto that joyfulness in her writing eternally, you know? I haven't finished reading The Blythes Are Quoted, but it's definitely darker than the eight main Anne books. And despite all the light and beauty in her writing, Montgomery herself led a pretty unhappy life...
Aug. 20th, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
That's true. The intrusion of WWI packed in a lot of heavier themes. Which is also why I read the first ones a lot more, I think.

Interesting - I've heard of the Chronicles of Avonlea and Further Chronicles of Avonlea but I've never seen that book before!
Aug. 21st, 2012 08:16 pm (UTC)
I think it was only published within the last few years! Parts of it were previously in The Road to Yesterday, but I've never read that nor either of the Chronicles of Avonlea books.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )



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